Subject Lines

Spammers will do anything
as I've found on my computer,
depositing obnoxious email –
from misspellings to hilarious titles.
What makes them think
I will click on their spam?

Subject lines about "Viagra" – delete
"The Best Stock Picks" – delete
"Melting Away Fat Easily" – delete.

"Study Hall Dumpy." Wait a minute –
what on earth do they mean?
It must be a precarious place
to study my dumps. Gross! – delete.

"Boa Constrictor Boobs"
OK! Imagine a bare-breasted blonde
wearing boa constrictor head sculptures
as pasties over her nipples – delete.

"Your Needle Bath"
Ouch! I hurt thinking about
laying in a bathtub full
of sharp sewing needles – delete.

"Dysentery Deflection"
First of all, did dysentery
ever have a reflection? – delete.

"Waking in Sheets Teeming with Bugs"
That spammer is high on drugs – delete.

"FOSSEMODS" in all caps.
F O S S E M O D S
Is that the newest drug prescription
for today's fussy models? – delete.

(Author's note: The above spams are true.)